Ash's View on Shipping
by Wild Growlithe
Summary: Misty's had her turn, now Ash says what he thinks about the pairings he's been stuck in.


Author's notes: If you don't like it, TOUGH.

Uuuhh....is anyone there? Hi! It's me, everyone's favorite pokemon master....er...trainer. (almost master). A while back, my friend Misty posted what she thought about all the different pairings she'd been stuck in, and a few people said that they wanted it from someone else's point of view. Wild Growlithe promised that I wouldn't get hurt this time, so I decided to give it a try. So, without any more talk, here's Ash Ketchum's view on...uhh...shipping! Wait a minute...what's shipping? Lemme look at my note cards...hmm....oh....OH! This is gonna be harder than I thought......

What to start with? 

SAILshipping, I choose you! According to the note cards, this one's also known as Imitaeshipping. That means that me and Duplica are a couple. Hmm...well I can't see this workin' out easily. I know that lotsa people say that Duplica and me have a lot in common, and I guess we do...it's just....she's nice and all, but.... Well I don't know about what you guys think, but I find her kinda annoying. I especially don't like the fact that she happened to beat me in battle that one time...and then she didn't finish our next one! Just who does she think she is?! Right...I'm gettin' off track. Brock always whispers to us after we see her, sayin' something about her looking like a care bear with a star on her tummy. I don't think that's right, care bears were cute, and I don't think she is. One good thing is that she might come in handy when it comes to cleaning...her head would make a great mop. But the main thing that makes me mad about her is the fact that SHE MADE FUN OF ME!! Hmph, she looked nothin' like me in that stupid outfit. That girl's gotta learn that there is and can be only one Ash Ketchum, (soon to be) Pokemon master! So how'd I do? I think that was pretty good, considering Misty tells me that I know nothin' about relationships.....

Ash/Caseyshipping: Um, does anyone know the name for this one, cause it'd help. Lesse here....me and Casey...hm....Well what can I say, she's a great gal...I think...a good pokemon trainer, and um...she's short....wait that's not a good thing. When I think about it, there are a few things about her that I like. Lots of people say that she's a female version of me...I find that kinda weird. But even with all her good qualities...there's that whole Electabuzz obsession. It's pretty unhealthy, for her and whoever she might be with. I'm not a fan of the Electabuzz team myself, so that's a definite turn-off on her part. And on my part...well for one thing, if it were...what's that big word...ideal, then I'd like a girl who's an experienced pokemon trainer, someone who I could have a good sparring match with every once in a while. I hate to say it, but Casey is a rookie. She's on her way, but no matter what she'll always be way behind me. Then again there are lots of trainers way behind me...hehehe. But the one thing that make this pairing a definite no for me is that damn SONG! She'd sing it for every happy occasion, and just hearin' it once is enough to make me nuts. Imagine having to listen to that all the time. I never was a big baseball fan anyway.

Palletshipping: Oh, palletshipping. That's named after my town. I wonder why...huh? Wha? GARY?! There's gotta be some mistake, Gary's a guy....you're serious? Okay....

Um...Gary. How can I think about this in a normal way? One reason I don't like this is because Gary is a boy! But puttin' that aside, let's get some more reasons. I tried to be friends with Gary once, but he rejected my friendship. And for months, almost a couple of years after that he treated me like a piece of crap. He insulted me and my friends, acted like a jerk and a snob too. That kinda stuff would just drive me away from someone, and it did. True, I still showed kindness to him, but that's cause I knew that it was the right thing to do...and maybe I still had hopes of salvaging our friendship. (I just learned that word! Haha!) Now he's almost miraculously matured, and he's bein' a lot nicer....but he's more of a loner now. I don't really like to go for that type. And there's still that little bit of arrogance in him that just pisses me off. Even if Gary were a girl, I wouldn't want a relationship with him...er...her. Ack, I can't even picture having a romantic relationship with him....who came up with this one anyway...Eww he doesn't like me does he?

Leagueshipping: Let's see...what is leagueshipping...hey now hold on a second, I've gotta do another guy? Geez, and I thought talkin' about girls was hard enough... Okay, Richie and me are friends...we did hit it off real quick and got along real well too. And again, we did have a lot in common...but the similarities get a little freaky, dontcha think? I mean, his hair style is the same as mine, his clothes, the hat, the voice...even his pokemon are the same as mine. (or pokemon that I used to have). And that's just physical stuff, we've also got the same values, beliefs, and goals. That's great for being friends...but for dating and stuff...I think it'd be kinda like going out with myself, and that is too weird for me. I've never really thought of Richie in that way before...or Gary either. Are you people trying to corrupt my innocent young mind?

Poke/Gaki/Twerp/Bike/Sakashipping: NO! No way, I am not doing this one! Talkin' about other girls is okay for now, but I DON'T wanna talk about Misty! Huh? So what if she had to talk about me? That doesn't mean that I owe it to her or anything...but if she finds out...I'll be in for a lot of pain later...damn it. Okay then, let's see...how do I feel about Misty...well for one thing, she's a pain in the butt! Always nagging me, yelling, hitting me...who could put up with that? I couldn't. In fact, I think that if she weren't around....well...if she weren't around...it would be different....in a bad way. Maybe I would miss her a little...Okay so it's good to have her around, and there are good things about her. She would make a good sparring partner for me like I mentioned before. And she's not freakishly similar to me either...we're actually pretty different. Temper and all, her personality's pretty good too. I actually like being around her...and maybe she's a little cute...just a little. Still, I can't see it working out between us. I think she's a little too...underdeveloped for me. (Brock just taught me that word!)

Misty: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY UNDERDEVELOPED?!?

Ash: Hey, what are you doin' here, it's my turn Misty!

Misty: You made a little cameo on my fic, and here's mine on yours!! Now tell me what you meant when you said I was too underdeveloped!

Ash: You know what I mean Mist...you still have some growing to do.

Misty: WHAAAT?!?! I'll have you know that I'm very well developed for my age Ash!

Ash: ::leans down to Misty's chest level for a closer look:: Hmm...maybe...nah, still not ready for me. Brock told me what to expect and...you don't meet my quota.

Misty: WHY YOU $%^@& F$#%*& SON OF A #$%@&

Ash: Misty, the watch it! The rating is only PG-13!Gotta watch the language and violence!

Misty: OH, I'LL GIVE YOU VIOLENCE!! ::whips out mallet::

Ash: Hey, the author said I wasn't gonna get hurt....

Misty: Guess she was wrong....::smashes Ash flat with her mega mallet and stomps out of the fic:: Underdeveloped....that lousy....

Ash: Looks like I was gonna wind up in pain either way....Waaaaaaaaah.....

Now that I'm all bandaged up, let's move on to the next one, shall we?

Ash/Traceyshipping: Okay, I've only seen one sick pervert out there who writes stuff about me and Tracey, and I think the reason why I'm not into that pairing is pretty obvious. Let's move on again.

Bouldershipping: ::sniff:: Why do so many of you people think that I'm gay? I don't act that queer, do I? I'm hurt...and this one has gotta be one of the worst of all. Me...and Brock? That's just not right. First of all, Brock has got to be straight. Look at all the girls he goes after. Then again...Misty says that could all be a cover up...she tells me not to be surprised if he and James run away together...but that's beside the point. The next thing is the age difference. He's got to be in his 20's, and I'm still in my early teens. If it were a guy and a girl, people wouldn't view it that well. Hehe...don't I sound smart? The biggest problem, I think, is that Brock is...well, he's Brock. He's a crazy, strange, spiky no-eyed womanizer who repulses every girl he comes near. I don't think he'd have much better luck with guys. I know he wouldn't with me. And can the majority of you out there really picture me doing anything "lovey dovey" with Brock and not feel a little sick? Ugh....

Chikoshipping: Chikoshipping...the note card says this one's a male/female relationship....at least we've gotten somewhat back to normal. Wait a minute...::reads further into the note card:: oh for god's sake.....

Listen, Chikorita's sweet...she's cute and lovable, and she's got a feisty personality and would do just about anything for me....but I don't date out of species! I'm human, she's a pokemon! Do I really have to point out the problem with this one? Do I? ::sigh:: Why do I always get the pokemon with the weird problems? It just makes more of a challenge for me, that's why! I'll be a master in no time! I'll be the first master in history who's grass pokemon had a crush on him! Yeah! That's what I'll be remembered for.... I know that Chikorita loves me, and I love her too...but my love is strictly...pl-pluutoo....plutonic. Yup, it's plutonic. Huh? Why are you all looking at me? Did I say somethin' wrong? It's what? Oh, platonic, not plutonic...gotcha. Right, my feelings are platonic. I feel sorry for her...since she can't seem to get herself interested in any other pokemon. She'd be happier that way. But just 'cause I feel sorry for her doesn't mean that I'm gonna go out with her! Can't you just see it....I'd never be able to eat vegetables in front of my date! People would think that I'm some kind of nutcase, not a pokemon master. And I'd have to bend down four feet just to kiss her goodnight! Not my idea of a good date. And for argument's sake, I can't make myself feel something that I don't. (there I go soundin' smart again. Those books really help!) If I pretended to like Chikorita, I'd only be lying to her. I guess she'll have to be satisfied with our relationship now...hopefully she'll learn to accept it. Maybe if I'd been born as something different.....

Well that condemns...er...::looks at note card:: I mean concludes my thoughts on shipping. I know there are more, but I'm tired now, and I wanna stop. In closing I've got one thing to say: HA! IN YOUR FACE MISTY! You said I couldn't write bull about relationships and look what I've got here! Hahahahahaaa! I sure did a better job than you did too....::WHAM!:: OWWW!! Who threw that?! Grrr....well it's been great talking to you all....right now I think I'm going to eat a box of oreos, tie a giant ice pack to my head and sleep for the next two days..... 


End file.
